Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
