I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
ok first of all what the fuck
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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