Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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