Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
