I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
