You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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