the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
