if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
