I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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