i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
