it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
