Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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