How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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