so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
