Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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