In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
