Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize