Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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