I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
