After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
