Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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