so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
