You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
