the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
