Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
