there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
