Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
