Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
