Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you win again, gameday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
