Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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