I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
