I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
