my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
