They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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