I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize