Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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