...so i touched it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
