anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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