Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
