Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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