I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
