I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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