while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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