and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
