Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
