so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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