Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
