I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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