therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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