so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
