shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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