I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize