You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
