we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
