Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize