I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
