This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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