You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize