This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
