Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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