don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I deserve this hangover.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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