His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
